Laughing Outdoors

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See Ron and Raven's newest outdoor jokes. If you've got a favorite joke you'd like to share, e-mail travis@mnbound.com.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ANGLER WHEN...

1) You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.

2) Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.

3) You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".

4) Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.

5) You keep a flippin’ stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.

6) You name your black lab "Crestliner" and your cat "Stearns".

7) Gander Mountain has a private line just for you.

8) You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.

9) You have a photo of your 10-pound walleye on your desk at work instead of your family.

10) You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal.

11) You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.

12) You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a Palomar knot.

13) You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.

14) Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.

15) You trade your van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage.

AN ANGLER’S GLOSSARY

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.

Thanks to landbigfish.com for defining these terms for us!