Gather up, oh, deer hunters,
It's time for November's replay
of how to fool a wily deer
on a Minnesota opening day.
 

     There's no need to wait until dawn Saturday to realize, once
again, that in the world of the whitetail deer, we are - and I have
experienced this - an army of orange-clad klutzes.

    This is as it should be.

    Deer hunting is not like going to the meat market.

     Venison, you earn.

     In essence, that is part of the joy of deer hunting. Nothing on
four legs is quite as ghostlike as a whitetail buck. That means most
of us spend a lifetime trying to become an expert deerslayer.

    We resume the quest Saturday.

    John Eggers, who once worked at "problem solving" for an
institution of higher learning and who now writes a column for the
Bemidji Pioneer newspaper, has concluded that deer stands are really
elevated thinking stands.

    "To be a bit sane, you first have to be a bit crazy. If sitting
in a deer stand fulfills that objective, I'm happy to be counted
among the less sane people," Eggers wrote.

    "Sitting in a deer stand also teaches you about enoughness.
Indeed many deer stand sitters don't even shoot a deer. Sitting is
enough."

    Well said, I'd say.
 
Oh, whitetail, oh whitetail
If you would be so kind,
You'd bellow like a Hereford
And never use your mind.

    Now about deer hunting.

    The twins, Ted and Bud Burger, are two of the most determined
deer hunters I know. Years back, we shared many campfires where the
next day's deer strategies were devised. The Burger boys hunt hard
and enjoy going one on one with a whitetail buck.

    So, Ted Burger, what is one of the most important rules for deer
hunting?

    "Be lucky," he said, laughing. "No, seriously, it helps to be
lucky, but you also can make your own luck."

    Making luck?

    Said Bud Burger: "You study deer movements and learn the country
you're in. You look for deer sign to discover where the deer have
been. The more you know, the more luck you'll have.

    "If you're hunting new or unfamiliar country, I'd never just sit
anywhere. You must look for deer trail concentrations, look for buck
rubs and scrapes and identify where bucks have been active."

    In any woods, if there's a lack of deer sign or trails, it's
probably an unlucky spot.
 
Try luck for bucks
And buck scent, too.
When nothing else works
Try spitting in your shoe.

    More deer ploys by the Burgers:
- Play the wind: "The deer hunter's biggest mistake is not playing
the wind with your deer stand. You need two positions, really. You
can't underestimate a deer's nose," Bud Burger said.

    He said scent-lock suits are effective, and now there's even a
"breath odor eliminator," a mask to reduce halitosis made by
Mask-It, a Kansas company.

    A deer's nose is equal to that of a bloodhound.
- Scrapes are key signs: A scrape is a circular patch of ground torn
(or scraped) by a buck deer's front hooves. It is a communication
sign, indicating the buck's presence and occupied territory. Passing
female deer (as well as bucks) will come to scrapes and leave their
own urine scent.

    "The more scrapes I find in the woods tells me that there are
more bucks and more deer in the area," Bud Burger said.

    When hunting in unfamiliar woods, the best ploy is to find a
scrape or series of scrapes and hunt near them.
- Remember the mid-day movement: "Over the seasons, one of the key
hunting times for me is not at sunrise or early morning," Bud said.
"It's mid-day, from about 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m."

    Said Ted: "Sometimes this is prime time. Too many hunters go
early in the woods, get cold, hungry or bored and leave before 10
a.m., which is when they should be settling in."
- Bad moon arisin': Minnesota's deer season will open with nearly a
full moon, which is not good news. Deer movements tend to decrease
during full moons but increase by dark moon periods. In other words,
the second weekend of the state's firearm deer season may see more
deer activity than opening weekend.
- Fire an accurate rifle: Joann Griepentrog of Moon Valley Rifle
Range in Eden Prairie has seen plenty of hot shots and poor shots
after 30 years on the range. Hunters owe the deer as well as
themselves an accurate firearm and should be able to shoot
accurately.

    "I personally have a gender problem with a few men, although by
now the regular shooters know that after 30 years of spotting holes
and adjusting sights, I have it pretty well figured out."

    Griepentrog offered a few tips:
- When sighting-in, use sandbags to rest the rifle for
consistency.
- Sight-in with the ammunition you intend to use for deer hunting.
- Make sure the sights or scope are mounted tightly.
- Be familiar with the operation of the firearm (loading, safety,
etc.).
- Take three shots to form a group before adjusting any sights.
Realize there is human error.
- Remember trajectory. The rifle can't be "on" at every distance.
 
Some folks wonder why we chase the deer.
They laugh at our blaze orange dress.
It's like flying over the coo-coo's nest,
Who is crazy is anybody's guess.
 

    And now for a final shot.

    Roughly one-third of the 440,000 hunters expected to participate
in the 1998 deer hunt will come home with venison. This means, of
course, a whole bunch of us will go through the deer hunting motions
with nothing to show for our efforts.

    It could be you. It'll probably be me. So, here's my No. 1 rule
for good deer hunting:

    Enjoy.

    Renew your connection to the earth. Refresh your natural senses.
Sharpen your eyes, nose and ears to play your historic role of
natural predator.

    Remember to appreciate the wonderful gifts of the whitetail
deer. Its sharp senses, its camouflage, its speed and grace are
present today because it has been a hunted beast for centuries.

    And remember, as John Eggers noted, deer stands are really
thinking places.